Dating Online Site Review » online dating advice

HOW TO INTRODUCE YOURSELF IN ONLINE DATING SITES

Sun, 11 Oct 2009 11:46:09 +0000

So you’ve got your online profile all set up and you’re ready to go, right? Ok, so what’s next?

Well that depends. It is a well-known fact that online dating sites are disproportionately used by men. Some sites cap their male users to maintain a more even distribution of males to females, but that isn’t usually the case. What it means is: ladies, you’re probably going to get lots of mail. Men, not so much. But that’s ok, we’re going to talk through the process of maximizing your chances. Let’s start with the gents because they have lots more work to do in this process.

There is going to be one continuous theme throughout this article, and it’s important for guys especially to understand it: pretend it’s real life. Even though we’re in the cyber realm, the process still proceeds like it would in real-life, with some minor alterations.

Firstly: guys, on the whole, you’re going to initiate proceedings. Stop complaining, it’s life. Plus, it’s much easier to say hello over the internet than it is in reality-land. So what do you do? Well, you search. Think about what you’re after, and do some searches. How far would you like your ladies to be from you? What age group? Most importantly: are they after long-term relationships? something casual? So you do your search and you get your results. Click through people’s profiles and find someone you fancy. Keep the following things in mind: women are frequently uncomfortable admitting to wanting ’sexual encounters’. Other women have no problem admitting it, but if they do so online, they’ll be constantly hounded by loads of guys (who make up more of the online community than women). If you’re not looking for anything serious, don’t hesitate to expand your search to include ’short-term dating’, ‘new friends’ and ‘activity partners’. Maybe you’ll meet someone who’s new in town and is looking for new friends – and you can meet a whole new circle just from that. Further, ’short-term dating’ can sometimes mean ‘casual encounter’. The same works for people looking for more serious relationships. Don’t worry too much about it at this stage, you never know what’s going to happen when you meet someone. It really is a waste of time to stress out too much at these early phases. If you find someone that fascinates you, and you like what they’ve written about in their profile, then say hello. You can work out your aims and objectives in due course if you think you might want to meet them.

Now you’ve found someone you like, great. READ THEIR PROFILE. Seriously, read it, read it twice, read it three times if you have to. Get a taste of what they’re into. What they like to do, what they’re saying about themselves. Use it diagnostically to get to ‘know’ this person. Especially important: find something you have in common, or something that interests you. You will use this when you initiate contact with them, it opens up a conversation. For example, you see that someone has similar music tastes to you on their profile. This can be a preliminary topic of conversation. You’re subject line might be: I can’t believe you also like the Kinks!! Notice that subject line has nothing to do with a relationship. It has nothing to do with sex. It’s simply a conversation starter – same as in real life. In a bar, party, or other social occasion, you do not walk up to a member of the opposite sex and say: Would you consider me more a ’short-term dating’ prospect, or just an ‘activity partner’? In real life you start with ‘hello’. With chit chat about commonalities. Well it’s the same in cyber-land. It is a non-invasive, friendly way to start a communication thread with someone. And the best way to be effective at getting someone’s attention is to READ THEIR PROFILE carefully.

Another tip for guys: do not proposition ladies: Hey I think you’re hot, wanna have sex with me? does not work. We mean it, it really doesn’t. It doesn’t work in the bar, it didn’t work at school, and it doesn’t work on the internet. Replacing ‘beautiful’ for ‘hot’ doesn’t change things. The internet is a great way to meet people quickly, it’s a great way to cut out many of the steps in a traditional courtship type of situation, but it does not throw away all rules of etiquette and propriety. There is a real-life person sitting on the other side of that computer screen, and they’re getting about 25 emails a day (if they have an attractive profile-picture up much much more) and a great majority of them are propositions for sex. Be different. You need to be the person she actually responds to. There are two steps involved in this, first, they’re going to check your profile. Your profile should be an honest and positive reflection of who you are, see our tips HERE(Hyperlink) if you need help. Next, they’ll read your email. They may or may not respond. Do not (NOT NOT NOT NOT) keep emailing the same person. Do not sit around thinking maybe they haven’t read it, or maybe they deleted it by accident. Restrain yourselves, and keep your paranoia in check. Also, do not take it personally. Just spend more time doing searches, reading profiles and saying hello to different people.

If you find you’re not getting any responses at all, then make alterations. Perhaps your profile isn’t very enticing. Perhaps the emails you’re sending are dull or boring. We suggest actually writing something more than ‘Hey, I noticed you like the Kinks, I do too’. Write a few paragraphs, either about yourself, or better yet, with regards to this thing you have in common. Always end with an open-ended question so the person on the other side has something concrete to respond to. For example, ‘I like the Kinks, but I really really am crazy about the Monkeys, I’m curious to know how you feel about them?’ This makes it very easy for someone to respond to you.

Ok, so you’ve identified some people you like. You’ve read their profiles thoroughly and gotten to know a little bit about them. You’ve taken the time to write them a quirky/funny/personalized email. A bunch of people have outright ignored you. No problem, that’s life. But you keep at it, and guess what? Someone responds! It really is a great moment when it happens. Someone, somewhere in the world has read your email, and looked at your profile and bothered to write back. What next?

Well, they probably answered your open-ended question. They’ve given you more information to work with, now you can write them again. Maybe they mentioned some completely new topic of conversation, you can follow that lead if you like. There is still no requirement whatsoever to discuss a relationship. Or a meeting. It is just like real life, you’re just talking, getting a feel for one another. There is no need to remind people why you are online, it is implicit in the interaction. If you are on a dating site, speaking to someone who is also on a dating site, there is an implied understanding of why you are having that conversation. So just enjoy getting to know people for now. We’ll take it to the next level in our next article.

Ladies, you may be thinking how you fit into this right? Well it’s easy: make you profile great. Make it fun and provide lots of details. Movies you like, music you’re into are great as conversation starters. Include places you have travelled to (or would like to go to), activities you enjoy. Remember to always be honest, because you will attract people who are into the same sorts of things as you, and that’s great! Remember that men are as visual as you are and select a couple of profile pictures. Log into the dating sites regularly this will keep you at the top of lists when people search as they are often in the order of who was last-online. Finally, do not be too shy to say hello yourself. Remember, there are actually lots and lots of people online and it could be he hasn’t seen your profile. Many women prefer not to say hello but just to send a rose/wink and let the man then introduce themselves. That’s fine too, but the same rule applies: do not give in to temptations to constantly email the same person. Just once is enough. If after a few months you haven’t heard anything, you might want to try again, but don’t make a habit of it!

Next time, we’ll talk about the next step, what happens after you’ve emailed a few times about random topics of interest: how do you get passed the email phase? Stay tuned!!

So you’ve got your Online Dating Profile all set up and you’re ready to go, right? Ok, so what’s next? Here are our top dating tips on how to introduce yourself in Online Dating Sites.

So what exactly is next – well that depends… It is a well-known fact that online dating sites are disproportionately used by men. Some sites cap their male users to maintain a more even distribution of males to females, but that isn’t usually the case.

What it means is this:

Ladies, you’re probably going to get lots of mail.

Men, not so much.

But that’s ok, we’re going to talk through the process of maximizing your chances. Let’s start with the gents because they have lots more work to do in this process.

There is going to be one continuous theme throughout this article, and it’s important for guys especially to understand it: pretend it’s real life.

(1) Firstly: guys, on the whole, you’re going to initiate proceedings.

Stop complaining, it’s life. Plus, it’s much easier to say hello over the internet than it is in reality-land. So what do you do? Well, you search. Think about what you’re after, and do some searches. How far would you like your ladies to be from you? What age group? Most importantly: are they after long-term relationships? something casual? So you do your search and you get your results.

Click through people’s profiles and find someone you fancy. Keep the following things in mind when introducing yourself to people online:

women are frequently uncomfortable admitting to wanting ’sexual encounters’
Other women have no problem admitting it, but if they do so online, they’ll be constantly hounded by loads of guys (who make up more of the online community than women)

If you’re not looking for anything serious, don’t hesitate to expand your search to include ‘short-term dating‘, ‘new friends‘ and ‘activity partners‘. Maybe you’ll meet someone who’s new in town and is looking for new friends – and you can meet a whole new circle just from that.

__________________________________________________________________________

(2) Further, ’short-term dating’ can sometimes mean ‘casual encounter’.

The same works for people looking for more serious relationships. Don’t worry too much about it at this stage, you never know what’s going to happen when you meet someone. It really is a waste of time to stress out too much at these early phases. If you find someone that fascinates you, and you like what they’ve written about in their profile, then say hello. You can work out your aims and objectives in due course if you think you might want to meet them.

__________________________________________________________________________

(3) Now you’ve found someone you like, great. READ THEIR PROFILE.

Seriously read your potential mates online dating profile, read it, read it twice, read it three times if you have to. Get a taste of what they’re into. What they like to do, what they’re saying about themselves. Use it diagnostically to get to ‘know’ this person.

Especially important: find something you have in common, or something that interests you. You will use this when you initiate contact with them, it opens up a conversation.

Especially important: find something you have in common, or something that interests you. You will use this when you initiate contact with them, it opens up a conversation. For example:

You see that someone has similar music tastes to you on their profile. This can be a preliminary topic of conversation. You’re subject line might be: I can’t believe you also like the Kinks!! Notice that subject line has nothing to do with a relationship. It has nothing to do with sex. It’s simply a conversation starter – same as in real life.

In a bar, party, or other social occasion, you do not walk up to a member of the opposite sex and say: Would you consider me more a ’short-term dating’ prospect, or just an ‘activity partner’? In real life you start with ‘hello’. With chit chat about commonalities. Well it’s the same in cyber-land. It is a non-invasive, friendly way to start a communication thread with someone. And the best way to be effective at getting someone’s attention is to READ THEIR PROFILE carefully.

__________________________________________________________________________

(4) Another tip for guys: do not proposition ladies: Hey I think you’re hot, wanna have sex with me? does not work. We mean it, it really doesn’t.

It doesn’t work in the bar, it didn’t work at school, and it doesn’t work on the internet. Replacing ‘beautiful’ for ‘hot’ doesn’t change things.

The internet is a great way to meet people quickly, it’s a great way to cut out many of the steps in a traditional courtship type of situation, but it does not throw away all rules of etiquette and propriety.

The internet is a great way to meet people quickly, it’s a great way to cut out many of the steps in a traditional courtship type of situation, but it does not throw away all rules of etiquette and propriety.

There is a real-life person sitting on the other side of that computer screen, and they’re getting about 25 emails a day (if they have an attractive profile-picture up much much more) and a great majority of them are propositions for sex. Be different. You need to be the person she actually responds to.

There are two steps involved in this element of introducing yourself to people online:

First, they’re going to check your profile. Your profile should be an honest and positive reflection of who you are, see our online dating profile tips HERE if you need help…
Next, they’ll read your email. They may or may not respond. Do not (NOT NOT NOT NOT) keep emailing the same person

Do not sit around thinking maybe they haven’t read it, or maybe they deleted it by accident. Restrain yourselves, and keep your paranoia in check. Also, do not take it personally. Just spend more time doing searches, reading profiles and saying hello to different people.

Always end with an open-ended question so the person on the other side has something concrete to respond to. For example, ‘I like the Kinks, but I really really am crazy about the Monkeys, I’m curious to know how you feel about them?’ This makes it very easy for someone to respond to you.

__________________________________________________________________________

(5) Ok, so you’ve identified some people you like. Whats next…?

You’ve read their profiles thoroughly and gotten to know a little bit about them. You’ve taken the time to write them a quirky/funny/personalized email. A bunch of people have outright ignored you. No problem, that’s life. But you keep at it, and guess what? Someone responds! It really is a great moment when it happens. Someone, somewhere in the world has read your email, and looked at your profile and bothered to write back. What next?

There is still no requirement whatsoever to discuss a relationship. Or a meeting. It is just like real life, you’re just talking, getting a feel for one another.

There is still no requirement whatsoever to discuss a relationship. Or a meeting. It is just like real life, you’re just talking, getting a feel for one another. There is no need to remind people why you are online, it is implicit in the interaction.

If you are on an online dating site, speaking to someone who is also on a dating site, there is an implied understanding of why you are having that conversation. So just enjoy getting to know people for now. We’ll take it to the next level in our next article.

__________________________________________________________________________

BONUS: Hey Ladies!

Ladies, you may be thinking how you fit into this online dating chat, right?

Well it’s easy: make your online dating profile great. Make it fun and provide lots of details. Movies you like, music you’re into are great as conversation starters. Include places you have travelled to (or would like to go to), activities you enjoy.

Remember to always be honest, because you will attract people who are into the same sorts of things as you, and that’s great!

Remember that men are as visual as you are and select a couple of profile pictures.
Log into the dating sites regularly this will keep you at the top of lists when people search as they are often in the order of who was last-online.
Finally, do not be too shy to say hello yourself.
Remember, there are actually lots and lots of people online and it could be he hasn’t seen your profile.

Many women prefer not to say hello but just to send a rose/wink and let the man then introduce themselves. That’s fine too, but the same rule applies: do not give in to temptations to constantly email the same person. Just once is enough. If after a few months you haven’t heard anything, you might want to try again, but don’t make a habit of it!

__________________________________________________________________________

Next time, we’ll talk about the next step, what happens after you’ve emailed a few times about random topics of interest:

how do you get past the email phase? Stay tuned!!

__________________________________________________________________________

TOP 5 EMAIL MISTAKES MADE BY MEN DATING ONLINE

Thu, 16 Jul 2009 05:54:41 +0000

TOP 5 EMAIL MISTAKES MADE BY MEN WHEN DATING ONLINE

Emailing is a HUGE part of the online dating game, because it essentially the buffer between when you first select a potential date to meeting that date in person. Online Dating Chat is not something to “over-think”, you should be yourself and let some of your personality show, at the end of the day we all want to be loved for who we are. However, that being said, there are some definite no no’s when emailing a women. These 5 email mistakes will shoot a hole in your foot faster than you can hit the reply button. Consider yourself warned!

1. Getting offended if she doesn’t want to speak on the phone right away. Yes, we all know emails, lead to phone calls, lead to meeting in person…. but sometimes email exchanges can go on for a week or more… and thats ok. Relish in your confidence that if she is the one, the phone chat WILL come. The first date, etc. Be patient.

2. Inappropriate comments. Guys don’t ask her what her measurements are, or how much she weighs. Its fair enough to want to know if there is an attraction there, but you’ve got to glean this from the pics on the site and then just ‘hope’ she doesn’t have photoshop at home lol. Want to see more pics? Heres a tip: search for her “Facebook” profile, and that could at least give you one more photo to look for. Just remember if you ask inappropriate questions she going to assume you have no interest in getting to know her, and pretty much only want to sleep with her…. (see #5 for more)

3. Don’t talk or ask about other dates. You don’t need to know how many times she has been asked out on eHarmony, how many matches she’s made on Match.com or another other matter of silly questions that are just not that important. And, dare I say a bit boring?

4. Getting frustrated when she hasn’t responded after a couple emails. Aka email stalking. Don’t be that guy! Seriously, remember women get ALOT more emails on theses dating sites. By sending her several emails you are only making yourself look even more like an AFC (thats Average Frustrated Chump fellas) so just relax. If its meant to happen it will happen. Relax, be confident, and don’t email stalk.

5. Asking for more pictures. This is acceptable, just remember to do so WITHOUT any references to “seeing her body”. Its like saying, “Hey I just want to make sure your not fat…” Ask if she wants to exchange more pictures, then you can mutually send and receive to see if there is an attraction. Don’t ask for a picture of them in a bikini!

In this article we will discuss the Top 5 Email Mistakes Made when Dating Online. Consider this your Online Dating First Email “No No” List. If you didn’t already figure it out, “email game” is a HUGE part of the online dating game.

Why? because it essentially the link between when you first select a potential date to meeting that date in person. This list contains some love killers when emailing a women. Online Dating Chat however, is not something to over-think, you should be who you are and let some of your personality show, at the end of the day we all want to be loved for who we are. When you are ready, go here for a 72 hour free trial at Match.com and get your online dating going the right way on our #1 rated Dating Site. For now, check out these 5 Email Online Dating mistakes that will shoot a hole in your foot faster than you can hit the reply button. Consider yourself warned…

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1. Getting frustrated when she hasn’t responded after a couple emails. Aka email stalking. Don’t be that guy! Seriously, remember women get ALOT more emails on theses dating sites. By sending her several emails you are only making yourself look even more like an AFC (thats Average Frustrated Chump fellas) so just relax. If its meant to happen it will happen. Relax, be confident, and don’t email stalk.

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2. Don’t talk or ask about other dates. You don’t need to know how many times she has been asked out on eHarmony, how many matches she’s made on Match.com or another other matter of silly questions that are just not that important. And, dare I say a bit boring?

__________________________________________________________________________________

3. Inappropriate comments. Guys don’t ask her what her measurements are, or how much she weighs. Its fair enough to want to know if there is an attraction there, but you’ve got to glean this from the pics on the site and then just ‘hope’ she doesn’t have photoshop at home lol.

Want to see more pics? Heres a tip: Search for her “Facebook” profile, and that could at least give you one more photo to look for. Just remember if you ask inappropriate questions she going to assume you have no interest in getting to know her, and pretty much only want to sleep with her….

__________________________________________________________________________________

4. Getting offended if she doesn’t want to speak on the phone right away. Yes, we all know emails, lead to phone calls, lead to meeting in person…. but sometimes email exchanges can go on for a week or more… and thats ok. Relish in your confidence that if she is the one, the phone chat WILL come. The first date, etc. Be patient. Don’t freak out or heaven forbid – let your confidence be shaken.

Expect women to test you. If you have asked for a number and haven’t gotten a response back, you can email back, but wait 3-4 days to *reply back! You do not want to come off as desperate or needy.

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Don’t ask for a picture of them in a bikini!

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GOT THAT FELLAS? GOOD! NOW GO HERE:

300 Creative Dates – By Oprah Dating And Relationship Expert

We Review the Best Online Dating Websites

Sun, 12 Jul 2009 23:51:08 +0000

Hi, just a quick note about what you can expect here and how this site works: We review the best Online Dating Sites, and then compile all the information for you into a nice tidy write-up to give you the best Online Dating Service possible. Including pros and cons, costs of use, general features overview, traffic, ease of use, and a compiling of other reviews found across the web. In future posts we will be writing about The best sites for Online Dating Chat, a ton of Online Dating Tips, the best Christian Dating Sites, as well as the top Paid vs Free Dating Sites Online. (FULL SITE REVIEWS BELOW)

Here is a sample of sites you can find available here, and links to FREE sign-ups to all of the Online Dating Sites we review.

Click here to visit Match.com

WHY DO WE LOVE MATCH.COM? They have over 25 million members worldwide, with a pretty even split between guys and girls. New users can register free (see link ) and post a photo on the site. Match has singles aged 18 – 80 and also this Dating Site comes with some promises. If you purchase a 6 month membership at Match.com and you don’t meet anyone special, Match.com will add an additional 6 mos to your membership at no additional costs! Click here get a 72 Hour Free Trial

Click here to visit ChristianCafe.com

WHY DO WE LOVE CHRISTIANCAFE.COM? This Top Christian Online Dating Site has been around for 10 year. Largest Christian Singles membership database’s with over 100,000 members. Christian Cafe offers trial free christian dating services. Site is loaded with most of the special specials features you look for in a great online dating site. Christian Relationship Articles and Christian Singles Dating Advice available. Easy to use Help and FAQ section. Christian? Single? Get a FREE Trial

Click here to visit Chemistry.com

WHY DO WE LOVE CHEMISTRY.COM? The sister site of our #1 rated Online Dating Site Match.com, designed especially for people who are seeking meaningful, long-term relationships. Guided communication online (perfect for newbies), and also Online Dating Advice for meeting offline. Communicate with other members by “winking” to show interest, emails with the site’s “double blind system”, or IM onsite…. Click here for a 7 Day Free Trial

Click here to visit LavaLife.com

WHY DO WE LOVE LAVALIFE.COM? Online Dating Site with over 15 million registered members. FREE to join, and free members can reply to any message sent to them (only a paying member can initiate a conversation however). Users can use the “smile” which can be compared to a “wink” on some other sites. Smiling at someone communicates that you checked out their web profile and saw something interesting. A smile opens up the ability for that person to see your own profile, but does not involve any actual exchanging of written words. you can restrict some of your more personal photos to users with only a “backstage pass” you give out. Online Dating profile is free to set up, so are are “smiles.” Plus they have just started offering Online Speed Dates! Get started Join Lavalife FREE!